safe

shaking, dazed, .lost in a dream
my waking nightmare
where am i now
am i coming undone

is this the begining or finally the end
deaf , blind and dumb
i can hear your insiders screaming
can you see me crying

my tears are red , im sorry
sorry doesnt mean anything , only hate
i fucking hate you... forgive me
im horrible, just hate me, not .love

i can hear you , but not see nor touch
you were my hope , my perfection
oh how we fell so far , dont .lift me up
i wi.l.l only crush you on my way down

brain dead

its been so long
since we said goodbye
i didnt even cry
no i didnt cry

now you lay in this hospital bed
i wish i was dead in that hospital bed
I loved you to death
All the things i could have said

Damn this pride of mine
years have taken you away
Eaten you from my heart
Now you're dead to the world

But your heart still beats
You're still breathing
But no ones home
Stolen your sight

If i came to confess
My pleas would fall on deaf ears
My Screams would go unheard
Even my deepest fears

I hold your hand
Mechanical breaths, inhale
Silent tears, tear me apart
No rest for the wicked, only hell

I love you, i'm sorry
Forgive me, I didnt mean to
Break your heart
I will miss you....

black out

how could you do this to me
why we could never be
i just wanted to be with thee
will you ever love me?

standing here screaming
let me in, please kill me again
heart stutter, eyes flutter
shit i'm bleeding again

everywhere i hear it
i love you, can i keep you
FUCK YOU! you dont know me
how could you want me, much less love

shaking, is the earth quaking
oh no its just my trust, your false sincereties
could you just hold me, everything is fading
pitch black i want you back, no scratch that i want ME back

combat boots, and a smile to kill
i fell in love on this haunted hill
dont try to justify to me
because i'm not listening

my heart is cracked and torn
i have fallen my love is worn
Oh this love i will forever morn
now i feel nothing but scorn

Puke me up

I puke turmoil,hunger,Lust,anger, indecision, confusion, and bitterness
Oh how those taste the same mixed with stomach acid
Acid that melts away the enamel that is my life
I feel like a piece of used furniture

Its nice to feel wanted even if its for all the wrong reasons
Evil is not intrinsic but fashioned, and I'm covered from head to toe

I love you sounds like I'm sorry every time it escapes from my lips
Another day, week, year of pretending that everything is OK
Its never OK and it never will be
Not enough soap in the world to scrub away the disgust

If acid and shrooms make you see inside yourself
Never walking that line , Afraid that demon will rise up and swallow me whole
I don't need to get high to get very low
I'm halfway to hell as is...

falling apart

Pain through his eyes
lust, anger, betrayal
I vomit at the very though of you
Red runs over thighs, a brief release

Retched dreams surface while awake
I choke on my screams your face is everywhere
There is no escape, choices long gone, faded
Let me rot in my ivory prison

Promises of love so easily blown away like sand on a beach
Oh how i want to confess
Rid myself of filth that no amount of hot showers could
I'll run until my thoughts stop chasing me

God i need a drink, drown myself
Maybe drown myself isn't the word more like fog
Yes fog, cloud my thoughts just to let me slumber
The slumber stains you left on me cant be washed away

My imagination is my refuge, memories my torture
Never have I stood on solid ground, just jumping from cliff to cliff
Come back to me I will love you, what beautiful lies you speak
When i drink, I drink alone

Leave me alone, this is my cry for help
I melt into this burning liquid
Over ice my insides no longer felt
All of my friends are in my head